Divorce Counseling
I guide clients through the turbulence of divorce from the moment they decide to call a lawyer until they reach the solid ground of a negotiated settlement. Throughout, I help clients stay focused on their needs and what they want their lives to look like post-divorce.
Sometimes I play this role as a consulting attorney for a party participating in a divorce mediation with another mediator. Because mediators are neutrals, mediators cannot give legal advice to either party in mediation. Therefore parties in mediation very often retain their own consulting attorney to advise them as issues arise in mediation. When I serve as a consulting attorney, I stay very close to my client. We meet before and after each mediation session to process the sessions, answer questions, and strategize. I review the final agreement and make sure it reflects our understanding of the terms reached in mediation.
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Other times I counsel clients who are at the very beginning stages of contemplating a separation or a divorce. They know something has to change in their marriage, but before they voice the possibility of a separation or divorce to their spouse they want to know what’s involved. What can they reasonably expect financially long term? What information should they gather before they raise divorce with their spouse? How should they have the divorce conversation with their spouse? What’s the best timing? And a hundred questions like this.
Divorce requires resilience and clients do not always start the process with the emotional strength they need to make the critical financial and familial decisions. I need my clients to be ok, and so my practice is holistic. I ensure clients have the tools and the outside resources they need to take care of themselves and their families as they endure the dark period of divorce. Because ultimately, the only way is through.
Divorce Counseling
I guide clients through the turbulence of divorce from the moment they decide to call a lawyer until they reach the solid ground of a negotiated settlement. Throughout, I help clients stay focused on their needs and what they want their lives to look like post-divorce.
Sometimes I play this role as a consulting attorney for a party participating in a divorce mediation with another mediator. Because mediators are neutrals, mediators cannot give legal advice to either party in mediation. Therefore parties in mediation very often retain their own consulting attorney to advise them as issues arise in mediation. When I serve as a consulting attorney, I stay very close to my client. We meet before and after each mediation session to process the sessions, answer questions, and strategize. I review the final agreement and make sure it reflects our understanding of the terms reached in mediation.
Read More
Other times I counsel clients who are at the very beginning stages of contemplating a separation or a divorce. They know something has to change in their marriage, but before they voice the possibility of a separation or divorce to their spouse they want to know what’s involved. What can they reasonably expect financially long term? What information should they gather before they raise divorce with their spouse? How should they have the divorce conversation with their spouse? What’s the best timing? And a hundred questions like this.
Divorce requires resilience and clients do not always start the process with the emotional strength they need to make the critical financial and familial decisions. I need my clients to be ok, and so my practice is holistic. I ensure clients have the tools and the outside resources they need to take care of themselves and their families as they endure the dark period of divorce. Because ultimately, the only way is through.
Divorce Mediation
I create a mediation structure that is stable enough to bear the clients’ tensions and loads, and at the same time, inspires creative problem solving and humanness.
Divorce Mediation
I create a mediation structure that is stable enough to bear the clients’ tensions and loads, and at the same time, inspires creative problem solving and humanness.
Spousal Support
In New York, the money one ex-spouse pays to the other post-divorce is called maintenance (as opposed to “alimony”).
How does the law calculate the amount and duration of maintenance? It’s complicated. It looks at the parties’ incomes and applies one of two statutory formulas — one formula in cases when child support will be paid, the other in cases when child support does not apply. But even then, courts can modify the formulated amounts based on 20 factors including, the length of the marriage and the age and health of each party. In practice, with the uncertainty of so many legal variables, parties most often negotiate the amount of maintenance between themselves. And mediation is often the most effective and affordable process for that negotiation.
Spousal Support
In New York, the money one ex-spouse pays to the other post-divorce is called maintenance (as opposed to “alimony”).
How does the law calculate the amount and duration of maintenance? It’s complicated. It looks at the parties’ incomes and applies one of two statutory formulas — one formula in cases when child support will be paid, the other in cases when child support does not apply. But even then, courts can modify the formulated amounts based on 20 factors including, the length of the marriage and the age and health of each party. In practice, with the uncertainty of so many legal variables, parties most often negotiate the amount of maintenance between themselves. And mediation is often the most effective and affordable process for that negotiation.
Child Custody & Parenting Time
Child custody is often the most sensitive and contentious issue in a divorce. There are two types of custody to consider: legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody is the right to make the major decisions around a child(ren)’s health, education, safety, religion. Physical custody is the parent with whom the child(ren) primarily lives. In both cases custody can be joint, i.e., both parents have equal right to make the major decisions, and/or parents share equal parenting time.
In making a decision about custody, the question is always what is in the best interest of the child(ren). Beyond the application to custody per se, the question of what is in the child(ren)’s best interest can be helpful in clarifying and resolving otherwise intractable disputes between divorcing parties. Is a relocation by one parent in the best interest of the child(ren)? When is it in the best interest of the child(ren) to meet a parent’s new partner?
Child Custody & Parenting Time
Child custody is often the most sensitive and contentious issue in a divorce. There are two types of custody to consider: legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody is the right to make the major decisions around a child(ren)’s health, education, safety, religion. Physical custody is the parent with whom the child(ren) primarily lives. In both cases custody can be joint, i.e., both parents have equal right to make the major decisions, and/or parents share equal parenting time.
In making a decision about custody, the question is always what is in the best interest of the child(ren). Beyond the application to custody per se, the question of what is in the child(ren)’s best interest can be helpful in clarifying and resolving otherwise intractable disputes between divorcing parties. Is a relocation by one parent in the best interest of the child(ren)? When is it in the best interest of the child(ren) to meet a parent’s new partner?
Child Support
Child support is the money a parent pays towards a child(ren)’s needs. Like spousal support, child support calculations in New York are complicated and tied to a statutory formula which takes into account the number of children and the parents’ incomes. If a child(ren) primarily resides with one parent, then the non custodial parent pays child support to the custodial parent. If the child(ren) resides equally with both parents, in New York — unlike in other states — child support is still paid. In that case, the higher earning parent pays child support to the lower earning parent.
While it can be tempting, a parent should never withhold parenting time from the other parent for failure to pay child support. From a legal perspective, custody and child support are two separate rights and obligations. Just as a parent who is not involved in a child’s life is not relieved of the responsibility to pay child support, a parent who is involved in a child’s life does not lose that right for failure to pay support. That does not mean there aren’t very harsh legal consequences for failure to pay child support. Garnishment of wages, even jail, are possible repercussions, but loss of parenting time is not since that would also punish the child.
Child Support
Child support is the money a parent pays towards a child(ren)’s needs. Like spousal support, child support calculations in New York are complicated and tied to a statutory formula which takes into account the number of children and the parents’ incomes. If a child(ren) primarily resides with one parent, then the non custodial parent pays child support to the custodial parent. If the child(ren) resides equally with both parents, in New York — unlike in other states — child support is still paid. In that case, the higher earning parent pays child support to the lower earning parent.
While it can be tempting, a parent should never withhold parenting time from the other parent for failure to pay child support. From a legal perspective, custody and child support are two separate rights and obligations. Just as a parent who is not involved in a child’s life is not relieved of the responsibility to pay child support, a parent who is involved in a child’s life does not lose that right for failure to pay support. That does not mean there aren’t very harsh legal consequences for failure to pay child support. Garnishment of wages, even jail, are possible repercussions, but loss of parenting time is not since that would also punish the child.
Property Division
New York is an “equitable distribution” state. That means that in divorce, the law divides marital property equitably, meaning fairly, as distinct from equally. In deciding what’s fair, the law considers 14 factors including, each party’s contribution to the marriage, the probable future financial circumstances of each party, and the length of marriage. In the overwhelming majority of cases, the court does not decide how to divide the property. Parties negotiate the division for themselves based on what makes sense for the family. Mediation is the most cost effective and least adversarial way to conduct that negotiation.
Property Division
New York is an “equitable distribution” state. That means that in divorce, the law divides marital property equitably, meaning fairly, as distinct from equally. In deciding what’s fair, the law considers 14 factors including, each party’s contribution to the marriage, the probable future financial circumstances of each party, and the length of marriage. In the overwhelming majority of cases, the court does not decide how to divide the property. Parties negotiate the division for themselves based on what makes sense for the family. Mediation is the most cost effective and least adversarial way to conduct that negotiation.
Unmarried Parents & Child Custody and Support
Unmarried parents have the same rights and obligations for child support, custody and visitation as married and divorced parents. Unmarried parents can benefit tremendously from a written agreement spelling out child support expectations and a parenting time schedule. Especially when negotiated early in a child’s life, this kind of an agreement can head off years of conflict and the expense and aggravation of court. When parents’ expectations are not aligned, mediation can be invaluable in helping parents reach a negotiated settlement.
Unmarried Parents & Child Custody and Support
Unmarried parents have the same rights and obligations for child support, custody and visitation as married and divorced parents. Unmarried parents can benefit tremendously from a written agreement spelling out child support expectations and a parenting time schedule. Especially when negotiated early in a child’s life, this kind of an agreement can head off years of conflict and the expense and aggravation of court. When parents’ expectations are not aligned, mediation can be invaluable in helping parents reach a negotiated settlement.
Uncontested Divorce
An uncontested divorce is where the spouses agree on all the terms necessary to end their marriage. While of course much simpler than a contested divorce, it can nevertheless be extremely helpful to work with a lawyer in an uncontested divorce. A lawyer will ensure there is agreement between the parties on property division, spousal support, child custody, and child support, that New York residency requirements are met, and that the paperwork is filed correctly and timely.
Uncontested Divorce
An uncontested divorce is where the spouses agree on all the terms necessary to end their marriage. While of course much simpler than a contested divorce, it can nevertheless be extremely helpful to work with a lawyer in an uncontested divorce. A lawyer will ensure there is agreement between the parties on property division, spousal support, child custody, and child support, that New York residency requirements are met, and that the paperwork is filed correctly and timely.
Prenuptial Agreements
A prenup is an agreement between future spouses about how money and property will be divided in the event of divorce or death. New York has laws about what belongs to spouses in the event of divorce or death. The idea of a prenup is to agree on an alternative arrangement to what the law would provide. Except in rare cases like fraud or duress, courts will uphold the terms of a prenup.
A common misnomer is that you have to be rich to think about a prenup. While being rich and wanting to protect your assets is one reason to consider a prenup, there are many others. Perhaps your spouse is entering the marriage with significant debt? A prenup can dictate that the debt remains with the indebted spouse alone. Or perhaps you are entering the marriage with children from a prior relationship? A prenup can guarantee that those children will be provided for even if the new spouse does not adopt them.
Prenuptial Agreements
A prenup is an agreement between future spouses about how money and property will be divided in the event of divorce or death. New York has laws about what belongs to spouses in the event of divorce or death. The idea of a prenup is to agree on an alternative arrangement to what the law would provide. Except in rare cases like fraud or duress, courts will uphold the terms of a prenup.
A common misnomer is that you have to be rich to think about a prenup. While being rich and wanting to protect your assets is one reason to consider a prenup, there are many others. Perhaps your spouse is entering the marriage with significant debt? A prenup can dictate that the debt remains with the indebted spouse alone. Or perhaps you are entering the marriage with children from a prior relationship? A prenup can guarantee that those children will be provided for even if the new spouse does not adopt them.
Postnuptial Agreements
A postnup is an agreement between married spouses about how their property and money will be divided during the marriage and/or in the event of death or divorce. Like a prenup, the point of a postnup is to settle on a financial outcome that is different from one the law would dictate — to take back control from the courts.
Postnups tend to come up in one of two scenarios. The first is when there has been a major breach of trust in the marriage — an affair, financial deception, addiction — and one spouse wants to assure that they are protected from the other’s debts or financial waste. The other frequent scenario is when one spouse joins a privately held business like a hedge fund or a private equity firm. Such closely held businesses will want to ensure they won’t be forced to open their books for a valuation as part of a partner’s divorce case. Thus, they’ll require a married partner to enter into a postnup with their spouse stating the interest in the business is separate property, as opposed to marital property.
Postnuptial Agreements
A postnup is an agreement between married spouses about how their property and money will be divided during the marriage and/or in the event of death or divorce. Like a prenup, the point of a postnup is to settle on a financial outcome that is different from one the law would dictate — to take back control from the courts.
Postnups tend to come up in one of two scenarios. The first is when there has been a major breach of trust in the marriage — an affair, financial deception, addiction — and one spouse wants to assure that they are protected from the other’s debts or financial waste. The other frequent scenario is when one spouse joins a privately held business like a hedge fund or a private equity firm. Such closely held businesses will want to ensure they won’t be forced to open their books for a valuation as part of a partner’s divorce case. Thus, they’ll require a married partner to enter into a postnup with their spouse stating the interest in the business is separate property, as opposed to marital property.
